by A.H. (8th Grade)

I invited all my friends
To a party at my house
And finally they all were there
(one dressed as Minnie Mouse)

We laughed and talked and ate some snacks
The mood was pretty high
And then I brought in several stacks
Of sandwiches and pie

But they could smell the smell of things
A’cookin’ in the kitchen
They wanted all to eat it
And said they all would pitch in

So finally I said, “ok”
And we all trooped inside
To find complete disaster with
My cake upon its side!

With gasps of shock and discontent
The tension quickly rose
And I got up on a stool and said,
“Whoever did this goes”

But no one could recall a guy
Or girl going into
The kitchen by themselves
So we said, it must be two!

Two culprits, maybe three or more
That knocked over the cake
But what could be the reason though?
And then somebody spake

They said, “I have a plan, my friends”
“It’s simple, really, though
We’re going to do some challenges
Until somebody goes”

We caught on fast, ideas passed
The room was quick with speech
First Johnny said, “we’ll make five cakes”
“And then we each will reach”

“And see whoever knocks it most
The same as that one there”
But no one liked his plan and so
At him we all did stare

Then Juliet spoke up and said,
“You know, I’ve often thought”
“That Johnny here was not so nice
I think it’s him that wrought

All this mess and sadness here
That used to be a cake”
But that was mean and so we went
And hit her with a rake

So we decided it would be
The words that must persuade
If any of us didn’t leave
And which ones hadn’t strayed
So I sat up upon my perch
I formed them in a line
And said, “Your life will be besmirched”
“If you will try to lie”

And so with trembling hands and feet,
They stood in front of me
And patiently awaited what
Would be their destiny

The first in line was Amy
And she said, “It wasn’t me!”
“You know I wouldn’t do that
It’s because I’m gluten-free!”

But we all knew that wasn’t true
I told her so real fast
Cause we saw her eating pizza crust
But then she looked aghast

“But wait, I thought this pizza was”
“Vegan and gluten free!
I thought you knew I couldn’t eat it
Ah, oh, woe is me!”
She slumped into a chair and wailed
“What am I going to do?”
But since she’s gluten-free and ate it
She was quickly through

With Amy gone, we shook our heads
And saw who’s next in line
And it was Timothy, called Tim
By his closest friends, like mine

Timmy had a camera,
Because he liked to take
Pictures of himself with friends
It’s sad I can’t relate

But he showed me all the photos
And I had to say, “it’s true”
“You’ve photographed each minute
That you’ve been here, so you’re through”

Timmy smiled happily, then walked right back into
The living room where people went
When they were done and through
Next there came Samantha
Her face was looking grim
I’d been her friend for seven years
Through all the thicks and thins

I looked at her and said, “come on”
“Just give some evidence”
She looked me in the eyes and said
“Fine, but I take offense”

She told me where she’d been that night
And I believed her so
She went to the living room with
Her twangly banjo

And then came up dear Horace
We all liked him a lot
It couldn’t have been him
So we freed him on the spot

Jeremy stepped up to me
And looked me in the eyes
And said “I came into the kitchen”
“What I saw was a surprise
So it couldn’t have been me you see
Or else I would’ve known
What would be here in the kitchen
After all, I’m almost grown”

Of course he had a point because
He’s almost sixteen years
And I don’t see why he’d do that
Cause he is such a dear

Next there was Bartholomew
We met him just last night
But he was really funny so
He left without a fight

With only three guys left to go
We all started to worry
Except of course the culprit
Who wasn’t in a hurry

Once they’d been acquitted
They were scratching all their heads
After all if they were innocent
Then they had been misled
Then Timothy, the smarter one
Figured what was going on
And he said, “Really?”
“All this time you’ve led us on?

What’s the point here, what’s your goal?
After all- you made the stuff”
And they realized with sadness
That ‘twas I, who’d done a bluff

And I grinned and said
“It wasn’t me, and I will tell you who”
“Has felled my cake so cruelly and
Tried to blame all of you!”

They all looked quite suspicious
After all it was a lot
But I had a secret plan and so
I quickly quickly thought

I said “Alright Jeremy”
“Come on, the hoax is through”
So he stepped up sighing,
“It was me, you’re right, it’s really true”
And then he left and all of us
Partied into the night
But then the next day Jeremy
Came by to have a bite

We sat down on the ground quite clean
I’d scrubbed it really hard
“Did you have to be so mean?” he said
“You had me really jarred”

But he forgave me as we ate
That cake up off the floor
My plan had worked, the cake was goodUntil there was no more

For I had knocked it over
Along with Jeremy
It was so good we couldn’t share it
With the people there you see

So I hatched a plan to get the cake
It worked, you know, tee hee
I guess I could’ve just put it
Somewhere they couldn’t see